just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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