she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
