pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
