So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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