Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
