New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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