If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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