Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
