Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
