Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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