She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
