He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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