I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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