Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
