how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
