I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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