I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
