is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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