I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
