Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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