So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
