the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
