I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
