I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
