I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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