You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
