let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize