We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
