so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
