Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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