K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
