I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
