i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Too much gin, very little bucket
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
