do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
