But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
