So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
