I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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