my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
