Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
