if only i could text you this smell
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
