i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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