I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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