R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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