i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I am mentally ready for anal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
