My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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