we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
