mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Jerry, you need to find god
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
