jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
