Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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