At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
