you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
