Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
