So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
