false alarm. still invincible.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
