I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
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i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
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When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.