NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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