do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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