But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
