i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize