is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
