After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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