Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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