I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
