And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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