how can u be prego again
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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